7.3.25
school sucks
as i gain more hobbies, it has become increasingly clear that school has a long way to go to become a good place to gain new interests. instead of turning me into a person with an open mind like they want to, school closed up my mind. it prevented me from learning things on my own because it wasn't enjoyable as a class in school. although i slowly regained my love for learning, i think there are many other people who lost their passion in school and never regained it. that's a big problem. school made me hate a lot of the things i love now.
firstly, writing. i remember when a teacher asked us to guess which essay was written by chatgpt. nearly everyone guessed wrong. i think it was because the essay that was written by ai looked like an essay that we were taught to write. that's when it hit me. we were taught to write like robots. or, maybe it's just me, as i have seen some people write amazing essays in exams. but, writing in school still isn't as fun as writing here. i only discovered my love for writing when i first wrote inside this blog, and discovered substack. substack is a really cool social media. you can subscribe to newsletters and read about what someone has to say. i really admire the writing there. the love and passion really shines through their work, unlike the essays students are forced to write about things that they don't like.
next, literally every sport. i still dont like pe. the way it is taught just doesn't feel fun. but, i like sports. i genuinely enjoyed trying to play tennis without any experience at all, and was excited to play another round. i feel happy and fulfiled when i exercise. why don't i feel this at school?
moving on to history, everyone's least favourite subject (at least in my school). there are so many things wrong with the syllabus and how it is tested. we are expected to memorise basically everything in the textbook. it's not interesting at all; it isn't taught like a story. it doesn't show much of the cause and effect. it just looks like a jumbled mess of events and useless information. history is supposed to help you learn from previous mistakes, but what purpouse does it have if they don't show what caused the failures? i had to do my own research to feel more interested to learn the syllabus.
i often wonder if textbooks had to compete for attention just like social media, instead of being a book set by the school/country that everyone has to use. wouldn't the textbooks become more interesting? i have seriously looked at some of the textbook pages and came up with many ideas on how to make it ten times more interesting with about the same information. why, why did the writers have to make it so boring?
so yeah. that concludes my rant about how terrible school is. i have learnt so much more from the internet than school. i learnt all of my hobbies from the internet. i'm not the right person to come up with ideas, but there are so many ways people can improve the education system.
4.2.25
yipee
great news!! i survived hehe. this is your reminder that worries are usually not true. even if it is true, when you worry, you suffer twice. plus, if you have 1440 dollars, would you throw the rest away if you lost 1 dollar? a day has 1440 minutes. would you throw the whole day away after 1 minute of negativity? the last three sentences are copied off of random youtube videos. (i'm too lazy to find the source) these helped me quite a lot while worrying.
this experience also shows me how bad my previous teacher was. i couldnt do what i was supposed to do, so the teacher just asked me to do realllyy simple things. i didn't learn anything in those 2 hours, and i hated it. the class i just had however, i learnt so much in just 1 hour. it isn't my favourite, but at least it's quite enjoyable.
alsoo, i just started playing pony town since yesterday. its so fun!! so far i have three friends. i just noticed the two people that commented about my geminitay cosplay, so im devastated. i was doing other things, so i'm so sad i couldnt friend them! ;-; hopefully i can find them again since i have their names saved. and also find more people who recognise me! UPDATEE!! I just logged on and found another hermitcraft cosplayer!!!
3.2.25
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
why is starting new things so hard??????????? i havent even started yet but im suffering because every minute that passes the closer the time comes that i actually have to start. yk im fine with learning things that im interested in in the comfort of my own home, but i have to go to classes all alone?? with only strangers??? and im not even interested in it?????? and i dont really have a choice bc its considered essential to learn and literally almost everyone has learnt it and im just behind. so, my mind is having a dilemma rn because i fear judgement way too much. 1. if i do go, i will be the oldest one there because everyone has already learnt it, and im embarassed for that. plus idk how good the teacher is, i had teachers where i had pretty bad experiences with ;--; 2. i don't go, and the longer i procrastinate the more embarassing it will be because i still cant do it and cant join events bc i cant do it. logically, the first one is wayy better but brains love to take the easier way out AT THE MOMENT, and save it for later even though it will be worse. this is kinda getting dramatic for how easy and fun these things are for most normal people. but somehow for me this is a big deal and kinda ruins my whole mood. i can predict two outcomes tmr. i will either actually enjoy it and i will be free of all of my stress, or i will make a fool of myself and cry and my whole week is ruined. i guess we will see.....tmr..
uhhhhhhhhhh. on a happier note, i am going to update about my last post!! i made some more stuff in blender, andd i learnt just a few dance steps. these few months were busy because of christmas and new year stuff, so i wasn't able to do much. also, i discovered a dance workout channel and its really fun. i still prefer doing actual dances tho. one of my main objectives of dancing is to have at least a bit of physical activity. im not fit TOT.. random, i started a crying wrapped for 2025 because of how much i cry. i saw one for 2024 on my feed and i thought it will be fun to do and make my crying experience slightly better ..kinda..
to end this, thanks for reading i guess! i hope i'm not oversharing and these posts will come back to haunt me ;-; but at least for now my mind feels slightly clearer
17.1.25
new year (very late)
hii! its been a hot minute since i last updated my site and ive been procrastinating writing this message. im just gunna ramble about goals for my hobbies :DD
soo, i started using blender yesterday (donut tutorial lol). my goal is to make a model of my oc and animate! im still very far from that, i have no idea how to use nodes...why cant it be simpler ;--;
i also plan on starting to code in godot. i have always wanted to actually code in real programming languages since i can code in scratch, and now in html. i watched this channel, it really gave me motivation. i havent actually started tho because i dont want to learn both blender and godot at the same time from scratch. i plan to make a flappy bird game to get used to the features. then, i really want to make a building game like this, because it is made in godot and its the creators first game!??? i also want to make a dress up game. if i get better at blender, i might make an exploration game in roblox. im just coming up with random ideas rn
dancing!! i am halfway done learning popipo and luka luka night fever. im REAALLY struggling with actually finishing them ToT
im sorry this is cut short, my head is really hurting rn and im gonna lay on my bed byebye. i hope by posting this it will keep me accountable