blog
13.12.24
i dont wanna go to the dentist..........
im kinda freaking out bc two of my teeth are kinda painful in different ways?? im in denial because i have always been brushing my teeth normally and there were no problems until now. maybe its my new toothbrush? i had to use another type to brush my teeth since there were no more of my old one. i want to wait a few days for it to go away somehow (probably wont work i shouldnt do that), but then im going on a trip. i cant really do anything much now wish me luck,. 
update: i went to the dentist, and it was basically nothing?? but i had other procedures and my teeth are actually more painful than they were before, idk how i feel.....
15.11.24
idk what to do now
i definitely overestimated the difficulty of the exams. that was a bit cringe, but it got my feelings out so its fine. i think i did well!! i never studied so hard before in my entire life. i think thats a good achievement.
things are good and all, but i dont need to fill up my free time with studying anymore so it feels weird. i studied so hard for this, but now that its over, i dont have any goals. i guess i should set more goals for myself. usually theyre all academic related, if not they are very vague. i'll think of a goal, maybe draw every day? i'll think about it.
11.11.24
exams: ruiner of everything
i havent written anything in a while, so hi im back! tmr is my most difficult exam and i dont feel prepared ASARARGH.. without exams, i will be just alive and enjoying life. i have so many things that i want to do but i have to put off to study. like, why did i have to be naturally "smart" and ace all my exams before without any effort?? if the bar was set lower from the start i wont feel as stressed and pressured as i am rn. ToT!!! or maybe im just exaggerating and i will do amazingly on my paper idk. its literally that one "burnt out gifted kid" thing. but also now that i have already put in so much effort, if i don't do well, the feeling will be much worse :(((,, and whats the whole point of this?? like idk what im even studying so hard for. i dont even feel like going to university. i have always been more interested in creative things. ive seen so many study videos that says "find your purpouse to study!" but i don't have that purpouse. ok time to get back to studying.. i will update tmr, hopefully with good news.
17.10.24
why do i feel like ive never been happier??
hiiii, idk life has been pretty great!! other than a few things that got me stressed and worried for no good reason..... i thought about this for a while, and i think its because i actually use my time good instead of watching youtbe videos all day and not paying attention in class. it seemes SO SIMPLE, but paying attention truly makes such a huge difference its crazy. now i dont dread my classes anymore!!! soo heres basically a gratitude/achievement list
1. im finally able to see a bit of progress in my art
i have worked hard to find my artstyle on pinterest, and i think maybee! its coming close!!
2. im better at studying
i actually studied for 4 hours in one day, and that was amazing! i felt so productive, like im in a study videoo!! i recorded the footage, but im not sharing it
3. i am forever grateful that i discovered neocities because its such a great hobby to do.
I used to obsess over my youtube channel because analytics were always right in front of my face. that wasnt good at all. in this website, i dont really care if people see it or not, its just for myself! i get to ramble about anything without a care in the world. buuut i do admit that i feel a bit disappointed that i dont have any followers, but its not as bad as how i feel when i dont get likes on youtube lol..
the only thing is,, exams are right around the corner and its gonna get stressful real quick!! i already cant wait for my holiday after aa
6.10.24
making a website is fun
hi everyone!! this is my first entry :D I have been eyeing making a neocities website for a while, maybe around a month? It was very intimidating to start coding from scratch. when I saw a neocities website for the first time, i was mind blown!!!! I tried making sites in carrd and google sites before but they just never feel the same like neocities.. so now, i decided to start coding!! the website is very unfinished at the time of writing this, but i feel so happy because this is a really cool hobby, and i feel cool telling my friends that i can code HTML and CSS. before this i had no idea what those things were and it just sounds cool! oh gosh i just used cool way too much. anyways, i started my website just yesterday, so i better get back to work to finish my website 